Done With My Compo - The Girl

After 6 months, with God's grace (without Him, I'm nothing), inspired to a girl who's very humble to other people and a lots of chocolates to stay awake (I realize that too much wasn't good also) *laugh*. Anyways, I love making musical compositions, especially when I'm so inspired to someone or maybe a love arrow shot suddenly approaching towards my heart. I wish I can make dozens to my Savior because of what He has done.

The song's all about waiting for the woman's response if she will return that kind of love/admiration to the man. Kung sino ka man, nasa sa'yo din naman ang pasya.. And I guess that response didn't come. *sigh*

"The Girl"


A long ago, I met this friend of mine
that brought me back the joy, for just a little while
one day, I'm pretending that "I'm fine" 
but when she looks around, oh what a precious eyes and smile

the tenderness inside
that made me so alive (baby..)
I'll tell her that one day 
"believe me when I say (this).." 

girl, won't you tell me, that you admire me too, 
I just can't take away this feeling, by the moment I saw you/of being love by you,
girl won't you tell me, that you will love me too, 
and just remember I'll keep on waiting.. dreaming, hoping, praying to be with you.

months and days have passed, there's nothing left to do,
Oh, without you, "what am i supposed to do?"

And just remember, I'll keep on waiting, DREAMING, HOPING, PRAYING to be with you.. :)

Rainy Season

Classes are on, and I feel that I don't want to attend. Hindi naman sa nahihiya ako, o dahil June 7 ngayon and still.. I kept on dwelling the past. I only encountered "lack of focus". Kulang nalang I watched the raindrops falling on the ground asking "why does the rain keep on pulling me down?".

I wish unto the Lord that this won't happen again. But as what He had said in the bible. "Follow him, and he'll give what your heart's desire". So there are still a lot of obstacles I need to surpass. Making the most effort to God and loving Him so tender will give you land (blessings).

Next week, mawawalan din ito eh and I always remember that He's beside me and He won't let me go.


Noon Walk

That was the day I applied in a company somewhere in Pasig. Pababa na ako ng jeep nun and I saw an old woman who's also heading near in my destination, then a sudden shower came in. She doesn't have an umbrella and she's carrying some grocery items and pasalubong (on both hands). Then I told her to draw near in my umbrella so that she won't get wet. I wish that I could help her on her way but the rain stopped and she say "thank you for that!".

Then ayun nga, I was rushing in to submit the resume and take the exam in the company I want but the security told me that I'll wait for their message to come (LORD, let this message sent to me! Please! *beg*).

So I went out of the building and called for taxi, then the taxi driver is very vigilant baka daw mahuli siya then he told me in a harsh manner sakay!. So I hopped in the car and he suddenly explained why he was like that.

T'was a sharing happened in between us, I was like.. (Maalaala Mo Kaya.. *laugh*). I shared what I've learned about traffic violations then we arrived in personal and spiritual conversations kahit di ko siya masyadong kilala, GO lang, I know nothing's wrong when it comes to that. I was so blessed that the man whom I talked with because has done good things in his family. While he discussed his personal life, I prayed that he will be blessed by God. That the bonding with his only daughter will be so tight. And that his faith will be stronger than before.

His name is "Mang Ruben", MABUHAY KA! *smile*


Youth Camp (Part 1)

June 1, 2012

Had a glorious day at the Mimosa Park, Clarkfield, Pampanga. Thanks to my ever beloved pastors and elders who made this event possible, even though we arrived to late. *laugh*

My heart says that I want to go in that place because I want to know more about Him and to praise/worship Him (hindi naman swimming ang hinabol ko, but I arrived late so I don't have problem with that). Hours after, our program started.

Our pastor preached about rebellion, it is an act in which you are against to the person or opposing something in an authority (e.g. when your parents tell you to follow the rules but you always keep on complaining which is considered as an act of rebellion, another one is not following the ten commandments which is also against the will of the Lord). She added that we, the children of God, must set our minds and hearts to Him for He shall give you a lot of blessing to come in your life and of course love and obey Him and your parents. The pastor also said about the difference between secular and non-secular (Christian songs). One of the songs that I always played in my mind is "The Greatest Love of All" wherein based on the lyrics "learning to love YOURSELF, is the greatest love of all" which is too selfish to say, isn't it? He doesn't want us to be selfish (I was about to internalize at that time), it is against the "Greatest Commandment" that the Lord said. God called us because we want to sacrifice our life to Him with all the worships and praises we uttered in our mouth. That very night after preaching His wonderful word. All of us were delivered from spirits that we inappropriately obtained in our hearts. I thank GOD for His presence which I always keep in touch with Him. I enjoyed also on that day because I played my instruments to rejoice and sing praise and worship songs. 

June 2, 2012

All of us devoted to Him, hindi mawawala ang pagsamba sa Kanyang pangalan. We devoted about what we had delivered yesterday. Then after the devotion, we headed to a place then our coordinator divided our camp into 2 teams. We won because we followed His way, no matter what hindrance comes in your way, we keep on holding on with the presence of His name, there is a time that we fall down from but God helps us to stand up, continue the adventure and finish it. After the activity, she discussed every meaning of every station (the game is divided into 7 stations). I was blessed in this kind of activity because hindi lang siya pang-teamwork, it gave us values. 

Then we headed back to the church to eat our lunch and continue the program. I loved our first activity in the church (2 teams as usual) which we pass the "yantok" or stick on  our co-competitors. The last activity was played from the other team, suddenly it was on-hold. We ate dinner and that night came where we had a session about the role of music in the kingdom of God, which I am related in this kind of matter, I kept on gratifying His will because He gave me such a wonderful talent. 

-End of Part 1-


End of Summer "Countdown" - Part 2

Chapter 4 - Bowing Up and Down 

Serving Him by playing my violin is merely a melodic sound of praise/worship but there are times that we suddenly slip up while we emotionally feel His presence. Every other Wednesday, me and my church mates (who have also the talent of playing violin and other instruments) went to a place named "Goshen" where potential violinist and blowing instrumentalists (usually they made an orchestra for their church) are practicing and studying their musical notes which makes your bowing skills faster. (Sana mabasa ninyo ito) I would like to thank the mentors who patiently and properly taught me how to play the violin. May the Lord bless you all in making music lively for Him. 

Chapter 5 - Blogging

In my past blogs, I've rant 9 to 10 blogs (April and May) hindi naman ako ganado kahit madaling araw na but I want to know you all viewers that this is one of my hobbies. That's all. Thanks for visiting and reading my rants. DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A COMMENT



End of Summer "Countdown" - Part 1

And because summer ends today, I'll make a post on what I've done this summer. 

Chapter 1: No Work - Feel Good Policy

That was the time when I applied in many companies but neither one of them replied nor called. I played my musical instrument in the morning because I miss Vaio, Saxy, Yuki, Pluto and Gui (violin, saxophone, ukulele, flute and guitar) and played basketball with my good old pals inside our subdivision every afternoon and having dinner with my family (when at home) or hanging out with the same friends (after playing basketball). Thank God, He doesn't want me to waste my days just for nothing. He gave me actually a good company which my sister showed support and endeavor in accompanying me at the building where I will take the exam and pass the resume(usually companies have series of tests but I am very frightened when there's an interview coming in) but it turned out to nothing (the reason is stated at 1st Month in OJT ). Good thing one company (which is inside the university) accepted me. 

Chapter 2: When The Feeling Is Gone

I know that it is His will to be followed, based on what I read couple of hours ago. 

"The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." - Psalm 33:10-11

There will be a right time that Ms. Right will come into my life and I'll love her and cherish this moment together. Natuto na ako and there's no need to contemplate and cry sometimes. I guess I must love You first more than anybody else. I pray that this feeling will soon be gone. And yes, there's no need to expect but I hope you're happy .

Chapter 3: Welcome Lord!

A week after I worked inside our university, weekend comes and I think of having Him once more in my life, from being a hopeless-romantic to a young devotee. I started playing in a worship team as a violinist and I sometimes played other instruments. Music made me linked once more to God; as our pastor said that "music can only be worship when your heart is set to Him". I'm very thankful that every Sunday I heard His wonderful word and the songs that came from the bible and written by well-known Christian songwriters and artists. 

Daily devotions and singing songs of praise and worship is my habit (sana kahit may pasok ako, magagawa ko parin ito). Hopefully, my relationship with You will never end. I know there are challenges coming in my life and we (me and Him) will be the one to handle it (tandem, ika nga!). Read more on Those Blessed Days. *smile*



Those Blessed Days

Trying to discipline myself to make things organized (lalo na malapit na pasukan at IT graduate in the making)  and to unlearn what I have learned from the past.

Like for instance last Sunday, I was a bit inattentive on the preaching. Even though I knew the topic (that was in the blog "A Day Rememb'ring Your Presence". Alam ko, parang may kulang sa napakinggan ko sa service last Sunday. 

May 26, Saturday

That was quarter to 9 then when I tested all my church mates about their range of voice or they called "vocalization" (thanks to Him that I have a bit talent to play the piano). After an hour, our pastor shared a video about praise and worship from which after the video she further explained to us about it. Thanks to her because she gave us discipline that should be done while we are in the church (that we should have a notebook to jot down what are the important values that our preacher preaches and better with a bible to know His word) and while we worship Him. 

May 27, Sunday

And thus the service begun. Jotted down, read what I've wrote, listened to the preacher and read the verses in the screen without any distractions.  After the preaching, our pastor blessed us because we followed her advice not because it is a requirement but to deepen the relationship with God and to continue to keep in touch with Him. And because of that, the burden inside my heart was taken away (nabunutan ng tinik sa dibdib, ika nga). 

I think this is my preparation for making me more responsible in making things done and organize things that aren't done. Lalo na, 4th year na ako, I'll keep on praying so that He will guide me in finishing my degree and working from a good company, hopefully. *smile* 

And with all of these I'll continue to praise and worship Him. Oh, how great is Your faithfulness, GOD. 


1st Month in OJT

May 22, 2012

Can't even move to my place where lots of opened files are at my desktop, nakakapag-facebook naman ako dito at twitter, and reading current news on the internet when I got sick in programming the website that we wish our boss will surely show it to his clients.

I remember the moment when I wasn't been accepted yet in UST-STEPS, wherein I applied in different companies where I wish to work. By the time they accepted me, companies are calling and messaging me on the phone and e-mailing on the internet about the day of the interview and when should I start working on a particular company who call/text/message me. 

In conclusion: He(God) gave me lots of opportunities to work in a good company but at that moment I hindered it because of being impatient (which we needed to find a company because they told us when will be its deadline).

But I wasn't disappointed in my decision. I chose to work inside the university for some reasons:

1.) To be prepared and to face the kind of culture which is the same as outside the company. I guess after graduation (by the time I'll work at a good company), I will never be shocked. 
2.) To gain more knowledge beyond what we have learned in the past 3 years in the university
3.) (Which is a very logical answer) To be satisfied at my own decision

And guess what.. last 2 weeks, it's our 1st month working in the university. *smile*



A Day Rememb'ring Your Presence

Saturday, May 19  

10:30 am

After we finished submitting our requirements in our on-the-job training, me and my fellow block mates suddenly planned 1 (actually we had 5 rounds *laugh*) round of computer game.  From our college, we were suddenly heading to a place where we sit around and talk about random things. 

After 3 hours.

The awkward moment when you were playing at the internet cafe then random thoughts suddenly popped in my mind; the wonderful smile and the times we talked on the phone (I'm staying outside the dorm to make our conversation longer by the time she called).

6:30 pm

On my way to my hometown with my mother, they stayed at my unit to ask prescription at the out-patient clinic. So it's a 2-hour drive and random thoughts popped again in my mind which made me feel like singing "In Another Life" by Spongecola. I know that she doesn't feel the same way.

The night before I sleep

*Facebook mode* as the usual. Then at the news feed, there goes her picture with her friends. I'll never ask that question "how is she and her work?" because I know she's fine.Then I prayed to Him that whatever it may be Lord, let Your will be done. Then *knockout*

Why are these things happening to me but in her part "parang wala lang, deadma"? There are times that I want to make myself busy as what she have said but when there are times that I'm idle in work bigla nalang akong napapatunganga.

Sunday, May 20

 @ Church

The message is about overcoming struggles in life and deepening the relationship with God and in line with the message, the preacher shared his life experiences to all of us. Then I wanted to cry a bit, I don't know why? I silently prayed again to Him.

All I can say is.. I MISS HER, but again I know that she doesn't feel the same way. *sigh* 


Reviewing My College Life (1st to 3rd Year)

I realize all the facts that made me feel a bit challenged like these following words:

malapit na tayong gumraduate no? 

ang bilis naman ng panahon, 4th year na nga tayo?!

sisikap akong mag-aral this coming semester. 
(but during semester, you're with your pals in watching movies and playing Rockband - this part I surely missed)

after college. :"> 
(this was said last semester, it's not actually a promise but she said it cause I'll know at that point, she will do it - I guess. No worries. Just earning trust)

thinking about where you will work and stay after college, thinking about the future itself

can't wait to throw away my mortar, receiving my diploma and going out of the arch - the Thomasian way

Some of the best facts you've seen which I could possibly have a white strand of hair when I used to think it over and over again *laugh*. But of course, after this part will end, these things will be remembered. 

As of this year I remember some of the things I enjoyed and lots of people that I've met when I entered in this university:

The subjects that I've taken and now it is stored in my mind and the professors whom me and my classmates have met (mapaterror man o hindi). I will surely miss them. (1 year nalang) :)

Like one of them is my past (almost 2 years of relationship and ended up suddenly), she surely knows that even we part ways, she must not hinder herself from that awkward feeling and letting it go so that she can merely focus on her studies (not to interfere your life but I hope this advice will fill in your heart). I can't say that there will be a possibility (you know what these words mean) but always remember that only GOD knows the plan of each individual (he can also count the strands of our hair).

Like we won for the second time (first year and third year) in an intercollegiate chorale competition inside our university. Victory for each of us and glory to HIM. This kind of bonding will surely be remembered.

Like I've met some special (literally *laugh* kidding) friends inside my own classroom. That's what friends are for (you know what I mean) and of course my beloved sections  during my time in Information Systems and in Information Technology

The moment when I was shifting from Information Systems to Information Technology. *BOOM!* God planned that I deserve this course and I'm thankful for that. 

I've entered few organizations which I met people there and spent a lot of time with them when there are projects to be finished and anything involved in their standards. 

My super friend (referring to that girl in my previous blogs), you are remembered. The things that you've made, the exchange conversations (revelations), the voices we blend (because she's also a singer *puri*). I hope that this kind of friendship won't end. *sudden change of mood* 

GOD, thank You that I met these awesome people and encountered things during my college life. Can I ask one thing for you? 


eto po. :) I'll make sure to study harder and keep in touch with You.. always. 


The Girl, "In My Dreams"

Before you read this post, I hope you all could understand my feelings about this girl.

Actually, I like her since i was in Grade 6, medyo bata pa kami para magkagusto ako sa kanya. She was very pretty (fair complexion, long hair, beautiful eyes, precious smile, good appearance), these are the attributes of an ideal girl (kaya ko nga siyang nagustuhan, diba?) . When you see her, you can't resist smiling or being fluttered much. 

The girl that made me in a "locked-jaw" situation is.. HIndi ko na palalampasin ito.

Kathryn Bernardo. :">

My lifetime crush, I wish I could see you in personal (in the meantime, I'll invite you to date with me *laugh*). 

That's all! :)


"Imagine" Part 2


K: pakisabi nalang.. mahal ko siya :) (if she only knows it.)

C:  bakit kailangan ako? Mas maganda at mas kinikilig siya pag galing sayo.. (if C knows)

K: pinaparemind ko lang po.. baka mauntog yan, kalimutan ko. *sad face* (that situation happens today)

C: malabo ata mangyari yun, because she knows and she knows it well. (IKR friend!)

K: kinilig talaga ako nung monday.. (di halata no?) *laugh*. Ayun, ngayon week lang akong kinilig ng ganire (Monday - the day of her spectacular performance)

C: panira ako eh! di ako masyadong kinilig tulad ninyo kasi ako lang nakakaalam nung gagawin niya *laugh*
(closest friend nga naman oh) Pero ang sweet niya nun, siguro mas sweet kung ikaw yung kumakanta at hahaplusin mo yung mukha niya habang kinakantahan mo siya, to the max na yung scene kapag napatayo mo siya at sinama sa stage at doon kinantahan (Honestly, I can't do that kind of scene not just because I'm so afraid to sing with her on-stage or something, It's becasue I'm not her co-contestant in the competition. *laugh*) sabi nga ni *******, the word "imagination" OMG. (okay!)

K: contestant ba ako dun? 

C:: hindi, lover este admirer lang niya.. parang intermission number lang teh *laugh* (The intermission number - t'was a remarkable performance we'd made. She made me happy at that time despite of being disappointed in school works and she watched our concert. I was so grateful then because of her very supportive act also with C *happy*)



3rd Year, Second Semester Is On!

Finally, I passed all my subjects and bracing myself for another school year. Thanks to our professor whom they've taught us values which will mold our attitude and knowledge as well (based on the subject they've handled). On-the-job training is coming so we need to brace ourselves this coming Summer Semester. 

At last! 4th year na rin ako! It's my last year to burn my eyebrows. Even without honors, I'll end this line without a failing grade! LORD, guide me and my batchmates that all of us will graduate.


How Clear Is Your Vision?

Couple of minutes ago, me and my friend talked about how clear is our vision. Gaano kalabo mata mo?

My left eye is clearer than the right, in short #laboRIGHT

Her vision is a bit opaque, in short #laboNA 

Then she told me that my eyes will soon be like hers #lalaboPA

But I think it won't happen. *laugh* ako pa! 

Speaking of clarity, we talked about my sad memories that happened for the past months, I shared a lot to my friend, buti nilabas ko lahat! But I remember my super friend (the girl who gave lots of advice which we have the same problem/situation) I like her because of her kindness and her love in music that jive our personalities. I want to know her more actually. My friend gave some advice couple of minutes ago that I will surely sink and process in my mind and heart and for that... THANK YOU. And for my super friend, KUNG ALAM MO LANG! *insert another jolly and fluttery expression here* 

Then we talked about her memories which I gave her an advice.

Remember friend that..

TRUE LOVE DOES WAIT #butnotproven


"Imagine" Part 1

There's a conversation between my friend behind our closeness between me and my super friend (let's call her C, because that's what she said) *smile* ME as K

We started this conversation because of this word..
Gaano kamahal? - How worth is her love?

C: Hindi ko kayang sukatin ang mga bagay na wala akong kakayahang sukatin, di hamak na isa lang akong tagasubaybay sa kwento ninyo, di ako ang sumulat (she can't measure because she doesn't have the ability to measure things because she's an audience of a movie or a reader of a book and not an author of it nor a director of it )

K: ahh basta't kahit oo kahit hindi, maghihintay ako, kahit ilang taon pa yan.. (I'll wait for her no matter what year will pass)

C: edi, MAGHINTAY KA! (then wait for it!)

C: kasi nga nanonood lang ako, at the very most eh, guide sa mga bagay bagay, wala akong kapangyarihan or any kind of churva over the two of you (again she stated again what she had said)

K: nakikita mo kami in the future? (asking about our future)

Cmay nabanggit na ako sa kanya tungkol sa maaaring maging future ninyo, pero hindi ko alam kung magkatotoo yan (she asked this question to her before, but she never knew if this will come true)

K: pero sa tingin mo? (but what you think? *super kulit mode*)

C: oo naman, ayon sa mga predictions ko, may future kayo at di hamak na mas maganda kaysa sa mga past ninyo (yes, that was based on her predictions, will also be better than the PAST)

C: sa akin lang si ---- <3 (oh no, not again! in love again with the guy)

K: *smile* happy na me ulit, yun.. ewan ko ba.. ang paranoid ko lang.. *laugh* (happy now, too paranoid before because I wasn't able to talk with her for a few days that made me a bit depressed) 

C: di ka.. ay hindi paranoid ka nga *super laugh* (no.. but probably YES, I'm too paranoid)


Define "Serious"

(source: Merriam Webster)

- deeply interested; 

I can't resist this feeling, parang sinasabi dito na no one can stop me in this situation like this. May magagawa ba ako kapag ganito nararamdaman ko? The first time I saw you, I can't explain this ambiguous feeling and that meaning "deeply interested" happened by the time we're both in that rough situation then we exchange thoughts and give lots of advice that mold both of us in near perfection and by the time I helped you out which was one of the good days.  

- not joking or trifling; 

Everything that I've done was neither a joke. But that's not all, I need to prove a lot of things (like knowing you, understanding the time when you're not around because I know the next day, you're there) to prove that "IN TIME" *insert our jolly expression here* 

- requiring much thought or work

Next year, I'll be there. This year, we need to stay focus on our studies pero siyempre hindi mawawala itong nararamdaman ko. 

Define serious? I already defined it. But I need to prove it right?



My Wish For This Month

" will be.. "having a harmonious and melodic life" because I do love music and it relates in my situation today. :)" 

It is all because, for the past 3 months I almost brought all the problems in the world. But I am very thankful to HIM because whenever I asked or I prayed  for some things that needs to have a firm decision, He simply showed instances to me then made me think if I will continue with this or not and I'm also thankful to my family and to my closest friends because these people gave me some piece of advice and opinions when it comes to my situation that I'd encountered for example today, yesterday or the past weeks. 

 I think it's not the end of world to be like this sad and a bit weary, I do always think that there are more opportunities that will come. 

and I should always remember that GOD'S WILL BE DONE. :)


I'm Back :)

After 3 months of not spending my time with you, BLOGGER and dealing with somebody else which I've encountered problems that made me carry almost the ENTIRE WORLD, I'm back at the world of ranting everything that I want to say. 

Be ready, cause I have dozens of rants that will be posted here at my own collection of thoughts.